Tuesday, April 21

The Pushover

It is always easier to start off as a no nonsense asshole than a pushover.  I'm wired as a people pleaser, and most time it doesn't bother me.  I like the idea of helping people out as much as possible. As a small business owner and owner of some investment property, I do find it frustrating when I try to bend over backwards to help people out and get taken advantage of repeatedly in hopes that those people will eventually make it right.




I had a conversation with a young preacher within the past few weeks.  He was talking about how he helps with the food pantry and has gotten to the point of just drilling some people with questions because he found they were being taken advantage of.  Even as far as going to the point of contacting the police when they were there on occasions to make sure there were no open felonies pending against them.  He told me about how he would just ask them if they are hooked on drugs, steal, etc. just point blank.  I actually admire that about him.




I rent a few things out and I find it exhausting having to continuously ask and beg for the agreed money.  I even found myself saying to hell with it, lets start from scratch on occasion.  Also, the area I live in I run into all types of people that swing through my shop and want a free haircut and have no problem with spinning around and telling me they need to borrower money for a sandwich or something after I waste my time cleaning them up to look good inside their free apartment all week.



I found my rock bottom in my early and mid twenties and even at that point I would rather ask someone if there was something I could do to make a buck and never just begged and asked for money.  I don't know, it's a pride thing with me I guess.  We all have to swallow it in life at one point, but for some of us it takes a lot more water to get that pride pill down.




As I have gotten older (notice I did not say mature - I'm still a kid trapped in an old mans body), I try to make things work without headache, worry, fear, or more importantly drama.  I find this pretty difficult lately.  You're either on one side of the fence or the other.  To be an asshole, or not to be an asshole - that is the question.





Love life.
j.

Friday, April 10

Another Black Cloud Over Town

Our area has suffered several losses of people way before their time within the past two weeks.  Living in such a small town, it's hard not to know people when they pass away.  I've wrote about this before, but it never gets easier.  I know this happens across the world, but feels especially hard in a community that is so close knit and loving.


There was a woman who had an aneurism during the holidays that has been in a nursing home ever since who lost her battle.  She managed a local gas station and was one of the bright points of every morning.  Last Saturday they laid her to rest.  One thing I didn't expect was that her son would come to my shop bright and early that day and stick around for a few hours.  What do you say to someone who is grieving?  He has already seen so much in his young life, and loosing his young mother didn't make anything better.  All I could do is just offer my shoulder and words of encouragement.  At the end of the day, those can be the most meaningful of all.


The day prior, news of a young man who I knew really well that was involved in a freak accident at work hit.  He passed away at the age of 25 and expecting his first daughter within a few months.  This kid was a real sweetheart.  Always smiling and joking around.  When I first opened the shop, he brought me a Michael Irvin jersey to hang on my wall.  "You gotta put the legends up", he said as he looked around and seen the other jerseys I had hanging on the barber shop wall.  He was a volunteer fireman and an assistant coach of the football team.  More important than that - he did good and everyone loved him. 

There was also a woman who lost her fight with addiction, and rumored to have passed away of a drug overdose before the age of 40.

It's always hard to wrap your mind around why people of this magnitude pass away so young, and even harder to understand how an area can seem to have such a lingering black cloud cast over it.  All I know, this town is really hurting yet again


In the young man's obituary it was mentioned that in lieu of flowers, donations would be accepted for a fund for his unborn daughter.  This is the part that caught my attention.  It's time for another 'cutoff' and fundraiser.  This will be the reason.  Sometimes it's not about the amount of money that can be raised, but instead giving the opportunity for people to do good things and allowing people a place and cause to get together to not mourn, but celebrate the life and reminisce about the positive things that those fallen have left us behind.


love life.
.j

Wednesday, March 25

Do the Sh*t in your Sleep

The fact that my last blog post was written at 2am (or some random time) when I was literally half asleep and try to multitask says a lot.  "I can do this shit in my sleep".  Well, I guess I can but in reality are you really on top of your game when you are sleep deprived, when you are enamored by a mind that does not rest, or is your brutally honest opinions and facts just a kick in the ass of life.  I once gave a guy a haircut and I was so tired from working 3 jobs and literally no sleep that I dozed off.  I did not speak to him except to ask how he wanted his hair cut.  I finished up 20 minutes later, the guy looked it over, smiled and said it was the best haircut he ever had in his life.  He gave me a 50 dollar bill.


The simple answer - who cares.  That is one reason I have taken a semi break from social media in general for the time being.  I have seen how powerful social media is.  I have built and maintained businesses using them.  I have organized fundraisers for great causes and even organized a full blown march thanks to social media.  Then again, I also have managed to piss people off.  I have watched it literally tear families apart, start fights and arguments that spill over into real life, watched as it created a level of animosity and awkwardness between people and groups, and even crazier - watched as it has destroyed relationships.  Since my son has been born, I have taken a momentary backseat, shut my mouth, and just watched and listened to my surroundings including social media.  I used to shake my head at those people that told me "I don't do Facebook", wandering how they functioned.  Now I realize what a burden it actually is.  Give anybody a platform to speak to 3K strangers they list as their 'friends' and give them a couple glasses of wine in the comforts of their own home and shit can hit the fan pretty quickly.


Last night when I finished work and got my son settled down, I watched Chris Rock's newest movie, Top 5.  I didn't know a damn thing about it before I turned it on, but I'll have to say I liked it and the direction he went with it.  Basically about a comedian who realized he was an alcoholic, quit drinking, and convinced himself he wasn't funny anymore.  He really struggled with his maturation.  I think we all do.  That's part of getting older, wiser, and not sure how to handle it.


With that said, time for ESPN Top 10 and to feed this sick boy of mine before work.


love life,
.j